The Enlightened (Entitled Book 2) Page 11

  I rub my eyes. They’re clumped together since I was too tired to remove my makeup. My stomach growls as I stretch. I have to eat more today. That’s probably adding to my all-around crappy feeling. Someone has unpacked all my stuff for me. It’s nicely hung or folded in a drawer. I decide on a black bell-cuff sheath dress. Even though I’m skinny, I have fantastic breasts and a great waist with long legs. This dress complements all that and it’s classy and elegant. With black silk stockings and some Jimmy Choo black pumps, I should be able to make myself look presentable. I want to look fantastic, but as I take in my eyes, I’ll settle for good. Following a long, scorching-hot shower, I dress and pull my hair back in a low bun. I add some light makeup—after all, I’ll probably cry all day, so what’s the point. I do pull out my dark berry lipstick and coat my lips. Moving to the full-length gold mirror, I assess myself. With my hair pulled back, you can see my face. Turning to see the back of me in the mirror, I’m surprised I turned out this good. Amazing what good skin and fantastic clothes and shoes can do for a girl. I reach for my phone, which has been charging, and try to tiptoe down the wooden hallway. Every squeak as my heels click on the old wood makes me cringe.

  The wonderful smell of coffee and cinnamon buns beckons me. I will have to grab a couple rolls for Luke and Lilly. If it’s Caroline’s recipe, those will go fast. Entering the large kitchen, I notice a woman busy checking on them.

  “Good morning. I’m going to grab some coffee and maybe a banana.” I smile at the slightly flushed woman.

  She smiles back, hands on her plump hips. “Well, you’re up early. Please let me get you some. And my goodness, you’re so beautiful.” I don’t recognize her at all. She must be someone new. This kitchen is enormous and I know Ian Saddington has a large staff. He redid it and updated all his appliances a couple years ago. Apparently, he had the original color matched and repainted the kitchen.

  “Thank you. I’m Tess. It smells delicious in here.”

  I watch as she brings out a platter of croissants from another oven. Grabbing a large cup, I pour coffee for myself.

  “I’m Anne,” she utters as she opens another oven checking on whatever’s baking in that one.

  “I work for Mrs. Saddington in the city. But seeing as this house will be full, she brought me to help. I’m the only one who can make her cinnamon buns right.” She blows a piece of hair out of her face.

  “Well, Anne, I have a little boy and girl who will be coming shortly and if we don’t save them some of Grandma’s buns, we could have a problem.”

  “Already taken care of. Caroline made sure she made theirs herself. I have them ready to bake as soon as they arrive.” I’m touched at what a good grandmother Caroline is. My mother is worthless. She’s in Spain and I haven’t heard a word from her. Absently, I wonder if I was the one who was supposed to let her know about the funeral.

  “Thanks, Anne.”

  “Here, honey. You enjoy this while it’s hot.”

  “Was I that obvious?” I smile and take the pastry plate. I can’t help but wince at the memory of me accidently dropping a teacup when I was twelve. My mom freaked out. Apparently Wedgewood no longer makes this particular pattern. So anytime I see it, I get nervous.

  “Thank you, Anne.”

  Again, I try to tiptoe into the great room. It overlooks the main lawn of the estate. With all the rain, the yard is lush and green. Even with the trees bare, it’s beautiful. A large bay window greets me as I stop and watch.

  I set my coffee on one of the tables and eat my croissant, which is so good I wish I had ten.

  It starts with a tingle, a second sense, but I don’t need to turn around to know it’s him. It’s always been this way. I thought it would be different by now but it’s not. That pull is as strong as ever. The overcast morning is waking up. It doesn’t look like we are going to have sun, but the rain appears to have left. I close my tired eyes, trying to stop my heart from beating too fast for a man who shouldn’t exist for me anymore.

  REED

  She stands at the window, and for a moment my hand finds my heart. My fingers feel the rough scar tissue that covers my tattoo. I’ve grown used to finding my rough skin. My hand still seeks it. I thought I could get rid of it much as I thought I could rid myself of wanting Tess. I didn’t mean to get up this early. I must be jet lagged, although the reason for my lack of rest is standing in front of me. She taunts me like a shiny new present. I used to say she had some sort of magical spell on me. It was a joke, but as I stare at her, I’m not so sure.

  Looking down at my black polished Magnanni shoes, I try to shake off any emotions concerning Tess. She’s the mother of Luke and Lilly and that’s where it ends. But yesterday in the car, touching her, smelling her… I force myself to think about the conference call I had with my second in command in London. I promoted him, and he’s more than ready. I also looked over all the documents Michael sent me. A file on all things concerning Tess, my children, and Scott. It’s rather laughable to read about Tess fucking a guy who goes to yoga. He seems to be the most boring man on the planet. Apparently, she’s been pulling back. If her phone records are anything to go on, she hasn’t spoken to him in weeks. To be honest, I feel sorry for the guy. Tess is ruthless. So even though I wouldn’t mind taking a baseball bat to his head, he’s getting off easy with her obvious avoidance. I take a sip of my coffee and watch her as the gray morning light casts an almost ethereal look to her profile. She has grown even more beautiful if that’s possible. Breathtaking is how I would describe her. Her dark hair is back off her face, making her long neck and stunning face more visible. She’s thin, but that’s Tess. Her stomach is so flat, no one would guess she’s given birth to twins. This need for her is unexpected. She’s been my constant fantasy over the years. But this is different. I want her. I need to watch her face light up, see her smile, laugh. What the hell is wrong with me? I should despise her, but I can’t. I want to breathe in her scent and chain her to my side.

  Obsessed.

  It’s that tug between us. Even across the ocean, she called to me.

  “Do you remember that day you told Jax you would pay him a million dollars if he ate one of the night crawlers in those roses?” She doesn’t turn but keeps staring at the spot where I dared my brother to eat the worm. In my defense, we were ten and Jax was bragging about how you can survive on worms if you had to.

  “Of course, and he threw up over there.” I lean my shoulder on the cool windowsill so I can torture myself with seeing her face. This time, she turns to me. Her sapphire eyes scan my face, and instead of stopping this conversation, I go there with her.

  “I remember Grandfather Ian yelling at us from his office saying that worms carry parasites and that we all needed to get checked.”

  She grins. “He was horrified.”

  “And you stayed and held Jax’s hand the whole time Dr. Miller checked him out.”

  Shaking her head, she says, “God, we were bad. It’s a wonder we didn’t get in way more trouble than we did.”

  “Well, we had you. So we never did anything too bad for fear you would get hurt.” I stop. Why the hell did I say that? It’s the truth, but I don’t want to remember.

  “I have no childhood memories without you,” her raspy voice whispers and I’m caught in her web. Our past, our connection never seems to break even when we seem to be broken.

  She takes a breath and hesitates. “Reed.” She sucks on her lower lip. “I… well, I was hoping we could talk, maybe learn to forgive each other.”

  It’s like she dumped a bucket of ice water on me. How did I let myself get taken in again? I’m such a fucking jerk. For a couple of minutes, I let myself smile and remember. But she’s a master at deception—it’s why I’m in the condition I am.

  She must see or feel the change because she stiffens. “Okay, I understand that you’re angry. If you would talk to me instead of—”

  “Angry?” I move closer to her. I sense her need to back away, but she stands h
er ground.

  “Why can’t we try to be friends? I—”

  Now I laugh. Not because anything is funny, but because she can’t be serious.

  “Friends? Well, let’s see…” Using my fingers, I tick off the reasons. “Friends don’t fuck each other over! And I mean that literally. Friends don’t keep something so sacred, so beautiful from someone. Especially when that someone is the father! So no, Tess, I don’t think I can be your friend.” I push off the cold glass and walk toward the door clenching my fists and unclenching them.

  “Reed? Please.” Her voice breaks. I roll my neck until it cracks.

  “I’ve added extra security for you and the twins. I don’t want you talking to anyone unless you know them.” She’s silent. I turn to look at her. “And Luke and Lilly will stay here until I decide what we are doing.”

  A loud snort comes out of her. “You can’t hold us prisoner, Reed.”

  I move to her, grab her arm, and bring her close.

  “You are welcome to leave anytime,” I say, gritting my teeth as her warm body and intoxicating scent fill me.

  Her head snaps back. “Don’t threaten me. I’m not as helpless as you think.”

  I take a small inhale of her. Just a small bit of her then step back. “You’ve changed.” I drop my hands. “Or maybe this is the real you.” I half laugh looking out the window.

  “You keep saying that.” She spits, “I guess that’s what happens when the love of your life walks out on you while you’re pregnant, sick, and hysterical on the floor of our penthouse.”

  I almost engage, almost take the bait, but it’s my grandfather’s funeral today, so my battle with Tess can wait. Actually, I don’t even care to battle. I only want to fuck her, spank her, control her.

  “I’m not asking you, I’m telling you—stay away from the press.”

  “Reed.” She sighs and looks at the ceiling as if it can give her some help.

  “I’m sorry that… that was not fair. I’m trying here, really trying. If you would let me explain, if we could talk. I feel like I’m the bad gu—”

  “The bad guy? You are. I didn’t do this to us. You did. You can twist what happened any way you want. At the end of the day, you’re in the wrong.”

  She takes a step back like I’ve slapped her. She’s so pale I have to make myself leave before I do something I’ll regret. The realization that she’s still my kryptonite makes her dangerous. I need to leave before I let her get any closer. I’m not ready to deal with all these emotions that I thought were dead and locked away for good.

  REED

  I walk out into the crisp, wet morning air, my breath visible as I try to calm every part of my body down. My phone vibrates and I look at the number. “What’s up, David?”

  “Hey, we’re at the gate and security is giving us a hard time.”

  “Reed.” I wince as Lexi’s voice carries from the background. “These idiots won’t let us in.”

  She’s loud and clear now and must have taken David’s phone. “Even after I told them who I was.”

  I take another deep breath. “I’ll take care of it.” Hanging up, I text security.

  I pull out my pack of cigarettes and light one up as the sky lightens a little more each second. My mind travels back to the last time I saw Grandfather. It was just like this—early morning and the condo we had been renting on the beach was almost too quiet…

  A shiver goes up my back, my mouth thick with cottonmouth after I smoked way too much hash last night. I open the sliding glass doors to a clean living room. No trash or bottles of booze litter the floors or tables, which causes another shiver because we have been living in Maruata, Mexico for months. David and Lexi’s drug usage made having the luxury of a maid nonexistent. I don’t give a fuck. I’m rarely here, and when I do stop in, I drink myself into not noticing or caring about the filth. But this morning, the smell of disinfectant is strong.

  “David? Lexi?” Fuck, did they OD? I push open my bedroom that I share with Lexi. She seems to be alive and sleeping alone. The bedroom is immaculate too. There are pills on the nightstand next to the bed, but everything else is clean and orderly. No David which is weird. Ever since they started using heroin, David sleeps and fucks Lexi. I don’t. I rub my hands over my face and shut the door.

  Making my way into the small kitchen, I open the refrigerator. It’s filled with fresh cut fruit, juices, and vegetables. Moving around all the health shit, I look for a beer or anything alcoholic but find nothing other than Fiji water.

  I hate Fiji water, mostly because it reminds me of my past, but I need something to cool my swollen tongue.

  “Reed.” I freeze midguzzle and slowly lower the water bottle and squint at my grandfather sitting quietly in the shadows.

  “What the fuck?” I whisper, wondering for a moment if he’s a hallucination. “Grandfather?” Panic courses through me as he stands and moves into the light.

  “Reed, are you okay? Do you need a doctor?”

  I stare at him. “I don’t understand. Is everything all right?” Cold dread works its way through my numb brain, causing it to work harder. If my grandfather has decided to track me down now after I’ve been gone close to two years…

  “That depends on you, I guess.”

  I shake my head, my eyes stinging. “Is it…” I take a breath. “Is Tess okay?”

  He stares at me and I notice a tear slowly travel down his old cheek.

  “I want to get you some help, Reed. Your friend David already accepted my offer of rehab and is gone. As for Lexi, she refused, so we’ve been keeping her comfortable until you return.”

  I puff out some air and notice that I have cracked the end of the old wooden island separating me from my grandfather.

  He glances down at it then up into my eyes. “You need to persuade her to get some help. When I showed up two weeks ago, this place was filled with rats, garbage, and drugs. Four other addicts were sleeping on the floor.”

  “I’m sorry.” My shame burns through my cheeks. The man who I have always looked up to probably found my wife and best friend in bed together and God only knows who living with them. Dizzy, I raise a shaky hand to my forehead, trying to figure how long I’ve been gone. A month maybe two. I don’t do heroin, so I’ve been staying away longer and longer. Lexi’s not a bad person and for about a week, we had fun; then I sobered up. She’s nothing but a drug addict. A twinge of responsibility nags at me. Had I not let her stay with me would she have become a different person?

  “Do you need rehab too? There is no judgment, Reed. I want to get you healthy so that you will come home. You need to come home…”

  “Reed? Earth to Reed?” Lexi stands with David and claps her hands in front of my face as they both come into focus. I blink still caught up in the past.

  “Are you okay?” She places a hand on my arm, and as always, I want to shrug it off. Instead I allow it.

  “I’m fine.” I give her a hug. “You didn’t have to come, Lexi. I know you hate flying and being here has triggers for you.” I give her a squeeze and can’t help but feel her weight gain even through her winter coat.

  “Well, I’m not going to say it was fun to fly sober, but I did it.” She lights up a cigarette. Her nails are bitten down to the quick and she has a yellow stain on her fingers where she smokes.

  “You look good,” I lie and ruffle her hair.

  “I look like shit, but since the only two guys I want to impress are standing here, I guess I’ll have to do.” She inhales and I turn to David. Surprisingly, he looks good. His coloring is healthy, he’s cleanshaven and his blond hair is cut short.

  I put the cig in my mouth and give him a hug. “I’m glad you’re here, man.” And I mean it. David and I have been through a lot.

  “As soon as I heard, I was on my way. How are you holding up?”

  “I don’t know if it’s all sunk in yet. I told you I’m a father, right?” I can’t help but let the excitement come out.

  He chuckles
. “Yes, we heard. Congratulations. Are they up yet? I can’t wait to meet them.”

  I hesitate, not because of David. Tess will freak if Lexi is within ten feet of them, and I don’t blame her. Luke and Lilly are way too pure to be around her.

  “They’re with Brance, so maybe later.” I shrug, remaining noncommittal. Numerous vans are pulling into the brick driveway. Most of them are florists carrying more bundles of arrangements. I follow a swarm of people as they walk on the wet, manicured yard to the south side of the estate. White chairs and a large podium are being set up. I’m assuming this is where the service will be held. A pain throbs in my head, reminding me that this is real. I’m standing on the huge brick steps with Lexi and David getting ready for my grandfather’s funeral while the bane of my existence is inside calling to me like a spirit calls to a psychic.

  An uncomfortable silence coats us. At last, I say, “You guys want some coffee?”

  “I do.” Lexi raises her hand like we are back in elementary school. “But first I need to go pee.”

  Classy. I have pretty much used up all my tolerance for her and she just arrived.

  I lift my thumb behind me. “There are two right at the entranceway. One on each side.” She shivers and rubs her hands. “I have to say it feels like it’s going to start snowing and I do not miss that at all.” She hurries off as David and I smoke in silence, the uncomfortable vibe leaving with her. His strange gray eyes move back and forth. “So where is she?”

  “Inside, torturing me.” I rub my hands over my tired face. They smell like cigarettes and vanilla. Tess, they smell like Tess.

  David drops his cigarette, snuffs it out with his shoe, then picks it up to throw away. That simple consideration almost makes me laugh. He’s so far ahead of us—he still has a soul.

  “Be honest with her, Reed.”

  I laugh. “What does that even mean?”

  He sighs. “I want you to be happy. One of us deserves it.”