The Enlightened (Entitled Book 2) Read online

  “Brance, I’m serious. If you need to go, I will ca—” I stop when he shoots me a death stare.

  I lift my hands. “Fine.” I can’t help but smile. “Obviously you know him better than I, but some of the stuff he said was right.”

  He doesn’t respond and picks up my phone and orders a shitload of food. Hanging up, he grabs the bottle of wine and my hand, dragging me to the couch. We both sigh as we sink into its soft, warm comfort. I’m so tired I could nod off. He picks up my feet and lays them on his lap as he starts to massage one. A small moan escapes me.

  “I’m jealous of what you have with Logan. It’s sinking in—I am probably never going to have that again.”

  He smiles. “Oh, Tess.” He leans his head back and closes his eyes. “You will have it and more, trust me.” His strong hands rub my tired feet.

  “Do you think he’s right? Should we call Jax, have him get ahold of Reed?”

  He sighs. “Probably, but let’s give it some time. I need you to tell me everything. Start with Reed leaving and then Lana and your dad.”

  So I do, for hours, until there is nothing left for me to say.

  TESS

  Past – twenty-two years old

  “Hi, Cindy.” I’m at the park again having left my doctor’s office for my six-month visit. I wave at Pauline and her cute redheaded daughter Cindy. This kid looks so much like Little Orphan Annie it makes me smile. Big red chubby cheeks and bright red curls.

  “So how did it go?” Barb, one of my new friends snaps my attention to her. My eyes take in her disheveled appearance. Poor Barb always looks a little frazzled or like she’s going to cry. She has one of those faces that always looks sad.

  “Good, I think.”

  “What does that mean?” Her eyes zero in on my face.

  “It’s nothing. The twins are growing. They’re big and healthy.” I sniff and put my hands in the pocket of my coat. “He did mention for me to rest.”

  “Wait what? Why would he say that?”

  “He said my blood pressure was slightly elevated. So he wants me to come back next week.” I glance away from Barb’s eagle-eyed stare.

  “Jesus, he wants to keep an eye on it, that’s all.”

  “Hmm… okay.” She squints at me as if that will tell her whether I’m lying. I must pass because she squats down to her son. She takes his hands and rubs Purell on them.

  “Want some?” She shoves the bottle at me.

  “Um, sure.” I hold out my hand and she squirts a generous amount of clear jelly and rubs my hands together for me. I have to bite my tongue. She’s like super mom, but I don’t think she knows she does it.

  “He didn’t mention bed rest, did he?”

  “No, no mention of that,” I say. Her face is now twisted with worry.

  “He said to take it easy and no stress, which shouldn’t be hard since all I do is hang out with Brance, do some yoga, and come to the park.”

  After that first day, when I discovered this place, it’s been like a calming safe zone for me. I love being around these women. They give great advice and make me feel hopeful.

  Brance even started joining me, so now we’re regulars. I mean, this is what you do if you want to be a good mom, right? You take your kids to the park. My parents never took me to the park. I don’t even know if they knew parks existed. Brad would, though. He took Reed, Jax, and me all the time. We loved it and ran and played in the sand. Well, I played in the sand. They threw sand, causing all kinds of chaos.

  Stopping my thoughts from wandering to Reed, I turn to Pauline. “Did Cindy get over that cough that was bothering her?” We all look at Cindy playing in the sand.

  “No.” She groans. “Still hacking all over us. I keep sending her to preschool in the mornings. Do you guys think that’s bad?”

  See, I love this. Like I would know, but I love being included anyway.

  “What color is the mucus?” Barb questions.

  “It’s clear, so I keep sending her.”

  “She’s fine,” Barb answers with conviction.

  I can’t help but grin at my friends. If you had told me six months ago I would be gossiping with women older than me by a decade or more, I would have thought you were insane. But here I am, talking about breastfeeding and what diapers I should use. Brance calls it baby school. He sits and takes notes with them, buying things on his phone as they tell him. The amount of stuff we have piled up in the twins’ room is embarrassing.

  “Tess? Is that your phone?” Barb snaps me out of my day dreaming.

  “Wow, how did you even hear that?” I dig around in my bag. “Damn it, I mean darn it,” I mumble, frowning at my Chloe bag that’s lying in the dirt, half of my junk rolling out of it. Gritting my teeth in aggravation, I’m not thrilled with having to bend down. It’s always a bit tricky getting back up. Even though I’m only six months, my stomach has popped.

  “Hold on.” Barb pulls me back as she squats down easily, gathering all my lipsticks and wallet that are now covered in dirt.

  “Thank you. I need to go through this thing—it’s out of control.” She keeps shoving all my stuff into my bag, then hands me my phone. Throwing her a grateful look, I take a breath. The babies are so active lately. It’s fantastic, and the few times they haven’t moved, I’ve freaked.

  “Shoot.” Somehow I have missed three calls. Two from a number I don’t recognize and one from Brance.

  “It’s Brance,” I announce. They cheer much like all women. They’re huge Brance groupies.

  “I need to call him back. He’s calling to find out about my doctor visit.” Frowning for a moment at the other number, I’m filled with a shiver of unease. I brush my long hair behind my shoulder and look up at my friends. “Remember, he went home to Los Angeles for this week.”

  “Oh, right. I can’t wait for steamy details about Logan.” Pauline’s voice gets all girly.

  Rolling my eyes, I say, “I’m sure he will give you some.”

  God, what must these women think? I’m amazed Barb hasn’t asked the question. It has to be driving her crazy. I mean Brance has been nothing but honest about his love for his boyfriend and their healthy sex life.

  Before I even call back, my phone lights up with a picture of Brance and Logan. Crossing my arms, I revel in the feel of my heavy jacket; it’s like a plush pillow. I know I look like a snowman, but that’s the great thing about hanging out with moms. They don’t care.

  “Hello?” My eyes scan the playground in front of me. I stare at all the kids running and playing. Most are laughing and happy, but there are always a few who sit and cry the whole time.

  How the hell am I going to do this? It would be hard enough with one, but I’m having two. And thanks to Logan, I’m reminded that I live off my best friend and his father’s drug money! Suddenly exhausted, I need to go home. A small headache is starting to take over. It’s guilt eating a hole into me—I know it is. I wish I felt better about my decision. Closing my eyes for a moment, I take a breath of cool air into my lungs.

  “Tess?” Brance’s voice breaks through my brain fog. My eyes snap open to Barb’s worried look—or she could simply be staring at me. Like I said, she has one of those faces. Clearing my voice, I say, “Perfect timing. I just left Dr. Blumen’s office.”

  I walk over to one of the benches and lower myself.

  “What’s wrong?” He fires off the question.

  “Nothing.” I sigh. “The babies are growing and I gained five pounds. They were happy with that.”

  “What aren’t you telling me, Pretty Girl?” His voice is demanding.

  I look up at the gray sky. “How’s the weather? I’m so sick of gray skies.”

  “I’m coming home.”

  “Stop it.” Silence. “Fine. My blood pressure was a little high. He wants me to take it easy, and he will check it next week.” Silence. “Hello?” I look at the phone to see if I lost him.

  “Yeah, I’m here. How high was it?”

  “I didn’t a
sk, Brance. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.”

  I hear him blow out some air. “I’m coming back.” One of the babies kicks. I can’t help but smile. They love Uncle Brance already.

  “Don’t you dare. You just got there. I demand that you enjoy yourself. I am fine! Seriously, I have enough guilt. Logan is only now warming up to me. Please stay your week. If something happens, I’ll call, but I’m doing great.” I take a quick peek to see if anyone can hear me. Of course, Barb is not even trying to be discreet in her spying.

  “Don’t you try to guilt me with your guilt,” he growls. “I will stay a couple days, but then I’m coming back. I don’t trust you.”

  “Whatever, I love you. Go have hot sex with Logan. The girls at the park can’t wait for details.” Pauline squeals.

  “Wait, you’re at the park?” He sounds stunned like I’ve robbed a bank.

  “Of course. I’m pregnant, not sick. He didn’t put me on bed rest yet.”

  “He mentioned bed rest?” His voice is clipped, and I know he wants to yell but doesn’t want to upset me.

  My lips twitch. “Brance, go have fun. I’ll call you later.”

  “Go home, Pretty Girl. I will be calling—”

  “Got it. I’m on my way. Please don’t make a big deal about this.”

  He’s silent again then says, “Love you.”

  “Love you too.” Hanging up, I stuff my phone back into my purse and heave myself to my feet.

  “I’d better go. He’ll be calling to make sure I’m home resting.”

  Barb nods and gives me a warm hug. “Men, they get so bossy when you are carrying their baby.”

  I wince. Brance has gone above and beyond for me. He doesn’t need to be labeled the dad.

  Biting my lower lip, I blurt out, “Brance, is not the father. He’s my best friend. My babies’ father left me and Brance has stepped in to help.”

  I see confusion and sympathy on their faces. “The bastard left you pregnant and alone?” Pauline whispers as she moves closer, her eyes alive with anger.

  “Well, it’s complicated.” My face heats up. Why did I say anything? Both babies kick as if they are sticking up for their dad.

  Barb grabs me and gives me another hug. Tears mist her eyes, and I feel a stab of shame but shake it off. They’re never going to meet Reed, so why should I care if he is the villain?

  “Are you telling me that Brance has stepped up and is basically taking on the responsibility of being the dad and husband?” Her eyes search my flushed face. “The man is a saint.” She gasps and covers her mouth. “What about Logan?”

  “Well…” A nervous laugh escapes me. God this is awful!

  “He’s the real saint. I mean, it can’t be easy. Being in love with Brance and having to deal with me.” I laugh again.

  “Don’t be silly. You’re fabulous, and babies are the biggest blessing in the world.”

  I swallow the lump in my throat.

  “Forget him!” she yells, causing me to jump and the babies to kick. “This is his loss.” She points at my stomach. “He will be the one sorry when he realizes that he is missing out on the best days of his life. And trust me, one day it will hit him like a brick.”

  I swear lightning is going to strike me. I look around and a small shiver gives me goose bumps as if Barb’s ominous words will make Reed appear.

  “I have to go. My feet are swelling.” Both Barb and Pauline nod, pity all over their faces. I hate myself. Plastering on a fake smile, I wave goodbye.

  Great. I’m horrified. Now I don’t want to come back. Tears sting my eyes. Why did I have to ruin it? Why couldn’t I let them think Brance, Logan, and I were into some kinky shit? Better that than the truth or the version of truth I told them. Raising my hand frantically for a cab, I cringe as my throat burns. All this anxiety is making my acid reflux act up. I shift uncomfortably. My feet actually are swelling, and I look at the cars speeding by somewhat dejected.

  People passing me don’t even spare me a glance. I observe a young woman throwing a dirty diaper into the beat-up trash can next to the bus bench. Gross!

  Finally, I get the attention of a cabbie and almost cry in relief as I slide into the back and rattle off my address. Indian music plays loudly. I rub my nose, trying not to gag on the pungent, stale odors in the cab. I crack the window to get some fresh air in. I haven’t thrown up in a while and I’d like to keep it that way.

  Closing my eyes, I make a mental note to start using Uber again. The cool wind caresses my warm cheeks slowly. I open my eyes and look out at the city. It’s always seemed like New York has something against me with its massive number of people and buildings. We stop and start in traffic, and I’m done. I’ve overstayed my welcome here. Reed… Reed means New York, Manhattan. I’ve been staying here, hoping he’ll come back, but he’s gone and with every minute that he stays away, the less I forgive him or myself. I glance down at my hands and notice my dirty Chloe bag. Not being able to help myself, I brush it off. No one is going to notice more dirt and dust on the ripped-up dark seat. I don’t have more time to dwell on it as the door is being opened by one of the doormen at my building.

  I do a quick glance, making sure I haven’t left anything. Handing the driver fifty dollars, I tell him to keep it. It’s the least I can do seeing as I’ve added a layer of dirt to his backseat.

  “Tess?” I freeze, my world starting to tilt.

  It can’t be! The leap of joy, adrenaline lights up my chest almost causing me to choke on my heavy breathing. Turning, I face him and my heart does skip. Usually that would bother me, but at this moment, I don’t even give it a second thought. His tall, muscular form walks toward me. I go to grab the cab for support. In five steps, he is in front of me. My breath comes out in a whoosh and my rapid pulse slows down. Releasing the cab, I step forward.

  Warm strong hands are on my elbows as he steadies me. “Tess, what the hell?” His turquoise eyes sweep my face then my body. “Hey, come on. It’s all right.” He pulls me into his strong arms.

  It’s not Reed. It’s Jax.

  TESS

  Jax’s hands smooth my hair. His lips are on my forehead as he tries to calm me. He’s saying something, but I can’t hear him. My mind spins as I clutch his sweater. My large belly is a glaring reminder of my dirty secret that is about to be brought out in the open.

  He shakes me and my head snaps back. “Tess, stop crying.” It’s a command.

  I try to take in a breath. My eyes are filled with tears and Jax is nothing but a blur.

  “I’ve been calling you. Didn’t you get my messages?” His eyes sweep my body. “Christ, what have you done?” He pulls up my puffy white parka and a small hiss escapes his throat.

  “I can explain…” My voice comes out raspy, but it doesn’t matter. He’s placed his arm under my elbow and is propelling me inside the building and into the private elevator.

  “Jax, please, let me explain.” But how am I going to explain this? I have no excuse. He instantly unzips my jacket. I almost burst into hysterical laughter at the look of concern on my doorman’s face. He’s new and sweet. Thankfully the elevator closes. Jax backs up, breathing heavily as he focuses solely on my stomach.

  “Jesus, did it kick?” His pretty blue eyes find mine. I nod. My throat is so full of emotion I can’t speak. The babies kick again, and this time, he reaches over to my stomach. His strong, warm hand rests there, waiting. The twins don’t disappoint; they must feel my anguish. “Tess…?” His eyes are glistening. “Reed is missing this?”

  That simple painful truth makes me want to start screaming and never stop. The elevator dings gracefully and the doors glide open.

  “I need the restroom, Jax.” Bolting past him, I lean against the bathroom door. This is finally happening. I’m not innocent, but the guilt is not all mine either. I stand in our guest bathroom, my eyes darting around, my mind digesting that for better or worse, my decision has been made for me. Brance missing all this sucks. Not only is he going to be pisse
d, but I need him right now.

  Staring at my reflection in my antique gold frame mirror, I think I’m in shock or maybe numb. My dark hair is long and thick, falling down my back. My lips, my poor lips seem to be growing. The more I swell, the puffier they get. I look good. The only thing that’s different besides my enormous belly is my eyes.

  Sad.

  Reed always said I had sapphire eyes because they were such a deep blue that glistened and sparkled. Now they look dark and haunted. I expect to see Jax waiting outside the door for me. That’s what Reed would do, and even though they look identical, they’re completely different. A pain hits my heart. Seeing Jax is like an old wound being ripped open again and again. And although I’m numb, I have to face my actions… the truth.

  I walk straight to my kitchen. It’s freezing in here. Either that or I’m shaking from the adrenaline. It’s also eerily quiet. Using my smartphone, I adjust the heat. The small click of the heat turning on makes me rub my hands together as warm air filters through. I’m starving, but something tells me to wait until after I talk to Jax, so I grab us a couple waters.

  He’s sitting on my large couch with the fireplace on, his tall form leaning forward as if he’s deep in thought.

  “I need you not to judge me right now.”

  His eyes snap to mine and the pain I see almost makes me cry. Instead I sink my pregnant body onto the couch next to him and hand him a water.

  “I’m struggling here.” He takes a deep breath. “Do you have any idea?” He looks away. “I can’t even begin to tell you the damage you have caused.” His eyes flash with anger, and I can’t blame him. Amid the fear and pain of losing Reed, I shut him out.

  “Forgive me.” I reach for his hand.

  He pulls away. “No, Tess. No fucking way. You don’t get to feel better with a ‘forgive me.’” He runs a hand through his thick hair. “Why didn’t you call me? Jesus Christ, we’ve been best friends since we were eight. What the hell have you done?” He stands up as if he can’t stand being near me. I have no excuse and I’m not even trying to defend myself because he’s right.